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It was actually causing more of a rift than bringing us together. In my experience, life-long member, many Mormons have difficulty thinking outside the box, and putting forth effort to inclue and love. It's not impossible, just painful and unlikely. And, whether she knows it or not she probably does know it but is in denialshe probably sees you as her ticket out of Oldmaidsville. And as an anonymous comment put it, date night is sometimes out of the question because he is using his "free" time as catch up on sleep time. I told her that is noble but she would be selfish to marry and work 80 hour work weeks yet if she does marry I can not see any man who would selflessly give over decades for the sake of his wife's career. Honestly I'd let things keep going.
God works by small and simple means to bring about His great and eternal purposes. There is no question that God loves all of His children, and that obviously includes non-members. She's most likely secretly playing out fantasies of converting you, marrying you in a Mormon temple, and having a very Mormon life, OP. All I can do is Trust in God. These past few weeks have made me very depressed. Do you know his work hours, break time during work and where does he take break from work. If you do end up having sexual relations, she will feel guilty, and it will affect your relationship, you can count on that. We still went on dates when we could, but it became less and less often.